There are many aspects of my life that really need to be sorted out and I am sorry but Spring cleaning MUST begin from Winter [even though there are really no seasons in Jamaica].

The New Year came in with a bang: the sounds of gunshots that is, and while I stood under the shower, my yearly ritual, to wash away 2006, I reflected or made some silent resolutions. I did not document them anywhere, just thought out loud to myself.

The time has come for me to be proactive. Far too long have I sat in the wings, waiting for my big break to come, but I have come to realise that in life there are no guarantees and procrastination must end.

I feel a sense of refreshment that hopefully will be the drive to get up an go for the gold. The gold in this case, seems to spread over many things but nothing tried, nothing done.

So for this year, I am seeking to re-enroll in the tertiary education system and pursue my dream of imparting much of my knowledge that has been locked away in the central processing unit of my big head to younger folk. Do I look like a teacher? Heard it all before!

I know I have said before that I find it quite easy to give up, but with the big wheels of life turning and turning, if I don't move full speed ahead then I might get crushed. And what a sight that would be!.LOL. So now I must abandon that way of thinking and rise to the occasion.

I challenge myself. This is my ultimate goal.

Dem can't keep a good woman down!

That decribes me to a "T", especially with men.

Now it has only been a few weeks and i know y'all been reading and saw about the "new kid on the block", but my admiration of same yute has dwindled to the point of "cyaan badda".

He still remains as ambitious and goal-oriented as he was when we had just met BUT, all those goals and aspirations have come in the way of the attention that i am seeking.

What would the world be if the average human did not know how to manage his/her time and prioritise accordingly? Not because you work long hours mean that you shouldnt put as much effort into establishing a relationship. I work long hours too and have far more reponsibilities on my table but i still find the time. After all, it was you who had the grand idea of making me your girlfriend.

I do not have the time to waste. MY time is precious to me and i believe it would be better invested in something that had potential, the same potential that whatever it is that exists between me and him is lacking.

As much of a gentleman as he is, he has no romantic bones in his body. As hardcore and "streets" as i am, a little affection now and then can go a far way in reeling me in.

He still hasnt pulled my strings, and now the said strings have turned into lengths of steel.

Easy to give up, that describes me to a "T", and i truly have given up on him.

Towards the end of last year i happened upon a decent jubbie by way of an old jubbie of mine. They happen to be associates but the long and short of it is that me an di new jubbie are now more than just jubbying around.

The initial meeting was pure chance as i was getting ready for work and my ex-boyfirend happened to call, and as the coversation progressed he offered to take me to work.

I willingly accepted the offer largely due to the fact that it was a School Uniform Affair at work and i didnt want to be caught dead on the streets of Kingston, a big 23 year old tough foot like me in a hail CAMPION hail uniform.

He was late in coming to pick me up, just by a few minutes but he arrived with a friend comfortably seated in his car. Introductions and subsequent pleasantries were exchanged as we hustled and bustled through Kingston traffic jams on our way to New Kingston, and eventually i imput my number into the friend's phone.

The text messages started to come, followed closely by the calls, to the point where we made arrangements to meet. We've kept in close contact since, probably too close for comfort but i may be getting too comfortable.

He is a great gentleman, wonderful person all around, but i am blighted by the fact that he is not my normal kinda guy. He is more humble than anything [with a nice and sexy and tight body might i add], but there is just something that is not pulling on my heart strings.

Last Sunday i went for a drive out with him, which took us to Clarendon, where he went to supervise some work being done on a house he is building and for some reason, he introduced me to his family as his girlfriend. I was extremely upset because i was placed in a jam, not made to feel any better after the older members of his family sought to get me to encourage him to do certain things. The ultimate being that i should tell him I WANT TO LIVE IN CLARENDON, to get him to move into the house rather than lease it out.

Upon leaving the house i expressed my disgust and after pampering and petting and all the good stuff, we sorted through that and we are now back to where we left off.

I am attracted to him. I am attracted to his mind. I am attracted to his drive and ambition and i am more than attracted to his "performance" but the strings still are not pulling.

I think this is a good one people. I am really trying. Really.

So i went to a "ni nite" last nite, and was summoned by an unsuspecting member of the male species.

HIM: Hi , my name is John Doe and you are?
ME: Nickiesha Findley
HIM: So do you work?
ME: Wa kinda question dat..............
and so proceeded the conversation.

Now that is no way to approach a woman, whether or not you are looking for a one night stand or something long-term.

My first impression based off the introductory question was that this man is damn rass cheap. Well knowing seh him cyaan mine ooman an waan know if u work fi mine uself an probly him too.

He delved as deep into my life as he could go, even asking why i am 23 and childless, my answer to which was i cant cock it up an breed fi every man i come across, and times too hard to be careless.

This man was way up on a high horse, way too high so i "went up to his level" cause i wanted to give him a run for his buck whilst he bragged and boasted about working with the Minsitry of Labour.

Low and behold when i started popping the big words, reasoning objectivley and riding saddle to saddle with him, the man clearly stated he likes submissive women of which i am not. I stated this clearly to him, not failing to advise that i did not find him appealing...he wasnt my type.

He invited me here, there and to the moon to no avail as i stated to him since I DO WORK, i may not be able to find the time he was requesting.

HIM: But i want to take you to Rebel Salute and that is after 11:00 @ night, u work @ night
ME: Sometimes, when u call 100 [Digicel Customer Care] dont u always get thru?
HIM: So a dat kinda work u do?
ME: Yes, and i do it well. What do u do @ the Ministry of Labour?
HIM: Lights and A/C.
ME: Huh? What u do with the lights and a/c?
HIM: I fix them!

I was thrown for a loop, the way the man a hype an gwaan i thought this man siddung an draft out di the Ministry's budget with the minister, i really thought this man was the Minister's Right Hand Man!

Watch the hype!