Although I've made a million mistakes in my life, I've learnt a million and one lessons. 2009 has taught me many things and above all I have learnt that I am too trusting of people. Between the end of last year and now I cannot count how many times people have betrayed me and all because I just never see it coming.

I have tried to just press delete on some people in my life and am still trying to delete a few more. I am not really a loner per se but alone time gets me in thinking mode and I try as best as I can to see where I went wrong that caused things to get to the points they have reached. I blame myself really because I control my own fate.

Typically, I want the best for people and I always want to see them give of their best. But some people have such low standards and have no honour and they could care less the repercussions of their actions. That's not me...I weigh pros and cons and then act. For the most part anyway.

The ultimate betrayal from which I have suffered, am still trying to recover. I have suffered many losses as a result of it and I don't think I can get to a place where I can forgive. I hope my Judas reads this blog and realizes that he/she had a hand in my greatest loss! I will never forgive you! Ever...